I trust everything to be okay in the end. But where is the end? In short, I have an up and down mental health thing. Some days I feel great and other days I feel fearful. My inner world feels gloomy and grey and I worry about life. Why am I here? What is the point to all the suffering in the world? Probably and almost definitely, it is the old story tapes playing in my subconscious mind, “I’m not good enough blah, blah, blah.”
I have found a great source of comfort in handing it over. This simply means I open up to the bigger presence of love and say, “Please take away all of my difficulties and worries. I don’t understand what I need to do. Please guide me and show me the way.” AKA prayer.
I am a deeply emotional person, full of swirling passionate responses to the world around me. Sometimes I’m not sure where I stop and you start. I was told recently by a spiritual healer that when I am feeling full of fear, I can tap into the place in my body where I feel that feeling and ask “Is this mine?” If the feeling lightens up, then it’s NOT my stuff. Isn’t that interesting?
It’s very common to have leaky boundaries. We often see boundaries as merely physical but emotional, energetic, and spiritual boundaries are just as important to set and maintain.
When I was thirteen, some friends and I started messing around with Ouija Boards. Somehow we let a spirit through and it attached to me. I was terrified. I vividly remember being in a woodworking class and being so terrified because this energy was in my space. No one could help me because no one could really believe it. I can tell you, to this day, I remember that presence and it was not my imagination. I told my mum but she didn’t take me seriously. The presence was in my space for days.
Friday came and I spent the night at my friend’s house. It was upstairs in her little attic bedroom that I learned a very important lesson. My friend listened to my story and then made a suggestion like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Why don’t you just tell it to FUCK OFF!” The first piece of real advice I’d heard all week. I turned into the presence and said with all my power. “FUCK OFF!” Whatever it was had absolutely no choice and left.
What a lesson! We often let the energy or feelings of other people, spirits, energy bodies, or whatever bulldoze our peace of mind and heart and we don’t even know we have power here. Trust that WE DO HAVE POWER!
When in doubt, say very firmly “FUCK OFF!”
Love Lizzie
xx
