What happens when we own our stories?
By ‘owning’, I mean we embrace, accept and share those unique parts of who we are, without expectation of approval or sympathy.
Every one of us has a story, or, if you’re like me, several stories linked together like chapters in a grand adventure novel. Yes, of course, I am romanticising my life. I am an artist and you are welcome!
Somewhere in my childhood, I started to believe that parts of me were unacceptable, and so I hacked those parts off. I swallowed my feelings, smoked them down, pressed and moulded myself onto a version of a story that I thought you wanted to hear. I created such a convincing mask of confidence that even I believed it. Unconsciously, I strategised and manipulated other people’s experience of me. I offered up only the most palatable parts of myself in return for approval and acceptance.
I believed I was only lovable when I was charming and entertaining, and it was utterly exhausting. And when I could no longer keep the mask in place, I exploded with a rage of unexpressed feelings, proving once again that I was neither acceptable or worthy of love.
At the core of my life, the fear of rejection was driving me. Like a plane without a pilot, it smashed through my life and my relationships. I built a wall so big that nobody could get close to me. Ironically, I was manifesting the very thing I feared, I was alone.
When I found myself unable to run anymore, I surrendered, and I started to tell my story. First, to my sponsor in recovery and eventually onstage through the medium of stand-up comedy. I laid bare the secret parts of my story. The shame and embarrassment exposed. And slowly I began to take back the parts of myself that I’d banished into my unconsciousness.
Today when I share my story. I share it without expectation of approval or sympathy. It’s my truth, and when I share who I am, I stand in my power and I am free to be me.
When I tell you my story, it’s because I own it. I share it because I want you to know, underneath we are the same. We all have our stories. No one is whiter than white. All of my experiences that have brought me to this point in my life, the light and the dark, I’m am learning to embrace it all.
Being alive is complicated and messy; it’s only when we own our stories that we truly embrace our shared humanity.
I invite you to start owning your stories and healing with humour today at Hilarapy.com
Remember you have access to great power, that power is love.
Love from Lizzie xxx