The power of connection is the antidote to undealt with trauma and loss. Connection is an energy exchange between people who are paying attention to one another. It has the power to deepen the moment, inspire change and build trust.
Whatever your story, the reality is, being alive is traumatic by its very nature. It all starts with being born. When we finally make it through that suffocating dark birth canal, we are separated from safety for the first time. Trauma and loss are natural trials and tribulations of life. We cannot escape it; we must embrace it. I don’t mean seek out trauma and loss and give it a big hug. No, I mean face the trauma and loss of our past.
I’m talking about the complex, challenging, sometimes terrible and terrifying things we go through in life. If you can honestly put your hand up and say life has been nothing but safe, calm, and serene, then well done you for blocking it out. Some of us experience ‘normal’ levels of trauma and some of us experiences unimaginable levels of trauma. It’s not so much the trauma that’s the problem, it’s the result of the loss of connection.
According to Brene Brown, connection is the energy that exists between people when they felt seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from a relationship.
When the connection is severed in childhood, a child cannot comprehend the emotional reasons why. A child will not compute, “Mummy’s got mental health problems. It’s not my fault.” A child will automatically make it mean something about them; they will form a mistaken belief.
If a child experiences abuse in any form and speaks up, and is not met with connection, this experience will almost certainly be worse than the abuse itself. A child will internalize this and form unconscious beliefs, “I am bad. I am wrong. I don’t matter.” If a child is abused and met with connection, understanding, an explanation that it wasn’t their fault, they will have a much better chance of healing from the trauma and forming healthier beliefs. “I matter. I am a good person. I am lovable.” Forming self-sabotaging beliefs in childhood causes difficulties occurring in later life.
Studies have shown that we are resilient creatures and can endure some of the most unimaginable experiences if we have a connection. Unfortunately, it’s the loss of connection that causes the trauma to become problematic for the person who endures it. That is why a community of people who get you is so important.
At Hilarapy, we facilitate a healthy space for you to tell your story using the power of humour. From this place of connection and acceptance, you can move through the most difficult of lived experiences.
You have the POWER.
Love Lizzie
xxx
